How Much Should a Teenager Change Her Schedule When the Non-Custodial Parent Comes to Visit? 

Any ideas on how much my daughter should be expected to change her plans because her dad tells her at the last minute that he is coming to visit? Legally, he is supposed to give us at least 5 days notice, but this time we got 3. Not that big a deal ordinarily, but she has band all day on Saturday and we had already planned to have people over on Sunday to make calls for the election. She really wanted to participate on Sunday, but on the other hand, her dad is only here one weekend a month and I told her we would do another calling party the next weekend.

When they get to be teenagers, they have more plans of their own and it is hard to expect them to spend an entire weekend with a parent. But what is reasonable here in terms of not totally disrupting her life, but respecting that her dad comes from 300 miles away to see her? And if he is late letting us know that he is coming, how much should she be expected to accomodate him?

I'm trying to be objective here. If it were me, I would hate to come all this way and only see her for a few hours each day. On the other hand, my daughter and I both know that at this point, he comes as much to see his new girlfriend who lives here as he does to see his daughter and the last 2 visits it has been his choice to only see his daughter for a couple of hours during the middle of the day and then leave. Maybe the reasonable thing is for her to see him for a few hours in the morning on Sunday, then come home for the calling party and then meet up with him for dinner? And do I let them work it out or do I get involved?