More About Emotional/Mental Abuse 

This is a subject close to my heart.  My best friend was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and she didn't realize it until she was forced to decide to separate with him because he was cheating and the emotional abuse had escalated.

Her now ex would tell her that if he were in their children's place, he would be embarrassed to go to school because of how they looked, implying the kids and their clothes were dirty.  He told her that if she cared about him, she would keep the house cleaner.  He also told her the only reason he stayed was because if he left, the kids would live in filth without him there to keep her doing what he should.  So what did she do?  She cleaned and cleaned for him.  She pressed the kids' clothes every day and made sure they were spotless by the time he came home if they'd been playing outside, sometimes giving them two or three baths a day.  It wasn't good enough.  There was always something wrong.  Between keeping up the cleaning and keeping up with her job she was exhausted.  He'd be mad because she would fall asleep and not sit on the couch right next to him, paying attention to him, while he watched tv or if she was too tired for sex.

Through the course of their marriage, he managed to find a reason to remove everyone in her life.  She lost one of her best friends because he had a petty disagreement with her husband.  Her family was slowly alienated.  Their dearest friends and the maid of honor and a groomsmen at their wedding were alienated.  She was too snobby and he only came around when he wanted something.  The only people left in her life where her kids, him, and her family.

He was the king of passive/aggressive control.  Even something as simple as what restaurant to eat at became a passive/aggressive nightmare.  He'd ask her where she wanted to eat.  She'd tell him.  He'd come up with reasons they couldn't eat there.  He'd ask her again.  She'd choose.  Again reasons they couldn't eat there.  Finally, they ate, but at a restaurant he knew he wanted to eat at in the first place, but had to take any little chance he could to take away her confidence in her decision making.  Other decisions were the same or worse.  I can't imagine paying the bills or buying a car with this man.  If something went wrong, he was the "king" of turning any situation around to be her fault.  Even his infidelity during her pregnancy.

It was a huge awakening for her when they separated.  Her family was quick to tell her how they felt she'd been alienated from them.  The people around her were astounded at his abusive attacks on her. 

She's still trying to rebuild her self-esteem and her life.  Too insecure to date, and way overweight as a way of dealing with things in her marriage, she's got a long way to go to get over it all.

Please don't let yourself remain in a situation like this.  The scars of emotional abuse are harder to heal.