Starting Over 

It has been a hellish year between my cheating husband and the excruciating back pain that I have been dealing with. It will be 5 weeks tomorrow since I had my back surgery and this healing process was not only physical. My soon to be ex couldn't even put me first during my hospital stay and managed to squeeze 20 minutes to visit me the second day I was in the hospital--and that was at 9:40 at night and the next day he brought 2 of our kids down to be there during my surgery but of course he was gone soon after I got back to my room. I had been there for 4 days and was released on the 5th day. I knew then that this was not the type of person that I could continue to be with. Now he had been playing this little game of I want to be with you and then changing it every time I let him move back home, then he'd leave again, only to ask to come home again. I decided after I got home from the hospital that this healing would be not only physical but mentally. I could no longer deal with his inability to decide who he wanted to be with.. his wife and family or a skank. He continued to tell me several times during this past month that he would cut all contact with her, even on the way to get my staples out he stated he would do it, but he never did. I had my ways of knowing if he did or not so needless to say, I'm ready to move on... I'm ready to start over. I haven't been this healthy in 7 years and it is amazing to be pain free. I still don't understand how he can choose to be with somebody like her but I see they are very similar.. they were both married when this affair started. She didn't have children with her ex.. lucky for him. I heard she begged her mother not to leave her family after she had an affair yet she finds it okay to encourage my soon to be ex to leave his. I have anger towards them both but at the same time I am relieved to feel some sort of closure to this and starting my new life. I guess you could say it is bittersweet, I'm going to concentrate on the sweet and go from there!