Should You Keep Your Married Name After A Divorce? 

I agree that personal decision if change name after /during divorce....I did change name in decree but did waffle on the decision with our kids....then for me, it felt right to change name back  to maiden name b/c I had lost myself in marriage. Having my name again gave me strength in an odd wat to let go, heal and find my authentic self. ...I decided that having a different last name was not going to hurt my relationship with our children and I think has been helpfuil for them to understand family issues, backgrouds and where they came from....We have been divorced 4 years and our children are comfortable explaining our diffferent las t names to friends. Has been a solid decision for us.....

Brigitte

I personally, one of the first things I told my attorney during drawing up the divorce papers and such, requested my name be changed back to my maiden name.  My ex actually was ticked off by this and wanted me to keep his name and I told him I didn't want to keep his piece of shit name anymore and wanted nothing to do with it or his dysfunctional family.  I talked to both my boys about this before I followed thru with it and asked them if it was okay with them.  If they had said no I wouldn't have changed it out of respect for their answer and feelings.  But they said they didn't have a problem with it and I told them I'm still your mom no matter what my name is so don't think I'll stop being your mom.  They understand.  I didn't think it was much hassle at all to do this and I let everyone at work know what ws going on to.  My ex was ticked becuz my name is now different from the boys and I told him okay dipshit what if (and that's a big WHAT IF) I ever decide to get married again, my name will be different then!!  So who cares.  My thought was if he decides to marry this tramp he's been cheating on me with I definitely don't want the same last name as her trust me.  I personally am glad I changed my name back becuz I feel like I have my life back and have in some sort of way reclaimed my identity back too!!

I feel relieved to have read your thoughts on this topic, as it is something that I am going through right now. I told my ex that I was in the process of changing my name back to my maiden name, and he didn't seem to care about that. I'm seeing just how much work goes into changing back to the maiden name, and I just don't know if it's worth doing. I've used my maiden name as a pen name since we were first married twenty years ago, but that was entirely different. I needed to dedicate my writings to my family, my father specifically. I used my husband's name for everything else; his children bore his name for Heaven's sake! I'm just not sure how to handle this now; I'm afraid that he truly wants me to get his name away from my person. If you or anyone else have thoughts, please feel free to comment.