The Parent Swap and Divorced Woman 101

After Divorce: When Should I have a Grown-up Sleep Over?

Grown up sleep-overs? Now that's an interesting topic.

When you do that is really up to you, UNLESS of course there are kids involved.

I have been divorced for 9 years, since my kids were 1 and 3. I have yet to have a grown up sleep-over that involved a partner in my bed. There have been a few occassions where we've traveled with a male companion of mine, and we all shared a hotel room. But my daughter and I slept in one bed. My son sacked out on the floor, and my companion, well he had the other bed all to himself.

I'm actually grateful to that companion. He set a rule when we first started dating that he would never sleep in my bed with me if the kids were there. He felt like it was respect to both the kids and to me. Many years before, he had a platonic friendship with a woman who had a young daughter. One night the three of them started a movie rather late. The woman was just too tired and went to bed, but my friend and the daughter stayed up to finish the movie. When it was over, the young girl simply stated, "I like you, because you don't sleep with my Mom." Wow! Out of the mouth of babes.........

My ex on the other hand has taken a different approach. Whenever he starts dating someone new, it's a matter of weeks before my kids are seeing their Dad hopping in bed with someone, sometimes he takes them over to this new woman's house. (Luckily his relationships seem to all last a couple of years at time, so this isn't a frequent adjustment!) I often wonder what my kids think. I do know they know the difference, as it has come up before. Personally, I think if you have a shared custody situation, save the sleepovers for when your kids are away!

by DK-Simoneau 189 Posts

Posted on 1/14/2008 1:06 PM

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