If you are divorced and dating, you might someday find yourself in the role
of a stepparent. If you decide to date and marry a man who has children, there
are some simple rules you need to follow.
1. Be sensitive. Do not ask the kids to call you "Mom". Recently, Katie
Holmes, wife of actor Tom Cruise and step mom to his two children with Nicole
Kidman, told
People magazine
that the kids call her "mom". Although it is wonderful her step kids love
her, they already have a mother and I can only imagine how hurt she must of been
by this comment.
2. Have patience. Children of divorce are dealing with many issues, and
often have a hard time accepting a new mate for their mom or dad. Give the kids
time to accept you and don't go overboard trying to gain their affections.
3. Be prepared to share. Remember the kids had your new spouse's
attention first. There is a different dynamic to marrying someone with children.
Don't expect your new mate to always put your first. A divorced parent must
prioritize and many times that means putting the kids' needs ahead of their own.
This doesn't mean your new mate doesn't love or care for you. Keeping the kids
happy and a new spouse from feeling ignored can be a daunting task. Give your
spouse time to adjust and work out the kinks so that everyone can eventually
merge into a happy,well balanced ,blended family.
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