Lend a Hand 

It's all too easy to fall into the holiday doldrums - and it doesn't much matter if you're just beginning your divorce journey or have been split up for years, managed to rebuild your life, and really like what you have now.  

Or maybe it's just me - even though I know I made the right decision several years ago, I still remember what it was like to build Christmas memories for the kids together.  Or the security that came from being part of a couple at holiday gatherings.  And the memories are bittersweet - dangerously veering into 'what if?' territory, or revealing gaps or weaknesses I don't really want to be reminded of right now.  

And the holiday schedules in the here and now?  While we've snapped into a schedule that works for us all, I'll still feel alone and small come Christmas morning - for a few minutes, at least.  

But I know it's not healthy to wallow, and I know it's not wise to give myself large swaths of idle time.  So I have two solutions when the holiday blues strike:

1. Pay it forward.  Surely there's another parent who's really struggling who could use a bit of help or support.  So make that phone call, or pass along a bottle of wine or an invitation for lunch or dinner.
2. Or maybe there's a cause that could use a few extra hands or a bit of your time over the holidays- so go out, get out of the house, and volunteer already.

 

You'll feel better afterwards, I promise.