You Share Because You…Care??? 

I have hit the big time here, people. I have my very first ass-visor, who waded in here to vociferously tell me just how and why and where I am Failing My Children. (Guess he missed this post in the 20 minutes he spent here, where he’d have already learned that “I’ve never been one to take orders well.”)

By now, I’ve developed a pretty thick hide when it comes to unsolicited advice aimed at single parents - it’s usually based on casual observation, comes laced with all kinds of value judgments formed before the advice-giver ever met me, or comes from people who have no idea of what’s required, 24/7.

(Side note: am I the only one who rolls my eyes and/or grits my teeth when married moms try to commiserate after having been a ’single mom’ for six hours while dad plays golf? [”I had no idea it was this hard…”] Unless dad also walked out the door with all of your disposable income, at least half of the household, a hefty chunk of emotional/financial security and packed up your trunk with the contents of your pantry while leaving all of the bills behind, well - it’s not quite the same thing, sister…)

And when it comes from people reading this blog? People I have no relationship with, people who don’t really know me, or my family? My response goes something like this…

Um, thanks so much for sharing…?!? And you’re telling me this…why?

See, when it comes down to it, unsolicited ass-vice givers don’t really have my best interests at heart. They don’t really care about my kids. They just like to Be Right.

So I don’t even bother wading in myself to correct inaccuracies, or to defend myself. I won’t bother to lay out all the ways those sweeping generalities don’t apply to me. Hell, after this instance (my first! my first!), I won’t even take the time to poke fun, or acknowledge egos that clearly don’t need further stroking from me.

It boils down to this: why share (back) if you don’t care?