Will counseling save my marriage? 

Well, if you do counseling and it doesn't work, you might be able to live without the what ifs. That can give you a kind of peace in itself. Good luck.

I have 3 kids and would do anything for them. Even take back a cheating husband. I pray every night that he wants to do counseling and try to find a way to save our marriage. At 38 years old I still mourn the loss of my own parents marriage. I would be willing to do anything to save my own. I hope you can find a counselor that makes you both comfortable enough to be forthcoming and truthful enough to find common ground to make a new start.

If you really want this to work, you need to have a better attitude. The "what if's" arent a very positive way to look at things. What worked for one doesnt necessarily work for another. If what you are doing now isnt working, what do you have to lose? If you are making excuses for not trying to make it work by going to marriage counseling (meaning excuses for not going to see one), maybe you DONT want it to work. I think you should see a counselor for yourself to sort thru your feelings first. There is alot of doubt there.

You have to try it!

So many questions! I think thats why you should see a counselor: you need answers. Counselors aren't the know all end all, but they can help see things from an unbiased point of view. There are no guarantees that it will work, but it might, and the fact that you're still asking the questions means that at least a part of you wants to stick it out. Just because your friends session didn't work, doesn't mean that their counselor isn't a good one. They might be. I say give it a shot, what do you really have to lose? At worst you gain answerers. Maybe not the ones you want, but the ones that will make things better in the long run. Answerers that keep away t the nagging question of "what if."