Top Five Ways I'm Sure I Can Still Annoy The Ex 

Yes, this is the promised follow-up to my earlier ‘Top five ways the ex can still get under my skin’ post. (Didn’t seem quite right to air his dirty laundry without doing a similar reveal.)

And yes, I’ve already confessed that I’m making a spectacle of us both - so we just might see him show up in the comments to either post…! But I do expect that I’ll get wholehearted agreement (hell, I’m going to get a standing ovation) to the five flaws I’m about to confess…

5. My faulty memory. Who said what to whom when? I can come up with a convincing reconstruction - but don’t ask me to double-pinky swear that I’ve accurately captured truth as we knew it when.

Closely related to that is this one…

4. When I’m wrong? I’m wrong with incredible conviction. I’ve got details. I’ve got supporting facts, can paint the contextual picture, and follow through with what the next steps were. And when I paint that picture, you can almost see it yourself. What’s the problem, you wonder? I am completely and entirely full of shit.

It’s not intentional, mind you. I’m not trying to blow smoke up, left, down, right, or sideways. I just have a memory that likes to, well, embellish things. Or conflate things. Or substitute that event for this event. And if you take my convincing portrayal of Facts as I Know Them as gospel truth, well - you might very well end up gnashing your teeth in total frustration when I turn out to be Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.

3. That whole sending the kids over when they’re deathly ill thing? If you’ve already got the exposure to the beastly germs nicely contained, why spread the wealth…? So that two more people can burn their sick time as well when they come down with the crud…?

2. Um, the woman who doesn’t feed the children on a strict schedule during the week has no real business complaining when they’ve not been fed on a strict schedule on the weekend - know what I’m saying?

and the number one with a bullet way to totally frustrate and annoy my ex-husband (a trait that I have worked diligently to overcome when he’s in the line of fire in any way, thankfully.)

1. Procrastination. See also the reason why we didn’t file taxes for five years (that has been remedied), took six years to get a divorce (check that off the list), or - more soberingly - why we got in the huge financial hole we did after we separated (aided by a nice long case of head-in-the-sand ostrich avoidance.)

OK - that’s enough self-recrimination for today. Next up? The top ten annoying tics that used to drive me around the bend that I’m finally immune to…!