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About To File For Divorce? Two Things You Must Do Now 

If you are about to ask your spouse to move, or if you are the one moving, withdraw half of all funds in all joint savings and checking accounts. These are the accounts that are in both of your names. The court may decide otherwise later, but for now, you are entitled to 50 percent of what’s in them. Take out your money. Leave the remainder for your spouse.

While you may be legally entitled to withdraw all of it, you should consider what that would look like to the judge who decides your divorce case. If you withdraw only half, you will appear fair, even in the midst of turmoil. Make sure you keep the bank receipts from these transactions. You want to show that what you are taking is exactly half of what’s there on the date of the withdrawal.
Next you must cancel all joint credit cards. Also call and remove your spouse as an additional cardholder on any of your own credit cards. This action will of course alert your spouse that you are leaving, so it is best to do it immediately before leaving, or just before filing for divorce.

Are these extreme measures? Not if you have already decided to file for divorce. If your spouse decides on a split before you do, you may find yourself presented with a situation where all or most of these things have already been done. You may also find that the arrangements aren’t as fair as they should be.

If you think your divorce will be amicable, answer this: Have you and your spouse talked about it quietly? Have you each hired an attorney, and selected a neutral mediator to help with the details? If this is not the case, and you have made your decision, and one person’s departure from the home is imminent, then you should take these actions now.
by Christina-Rowe  298 Posts 

Posted on 10/11/2007 6:59 PM
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Comments for "About To File For Divorce? Two Things You Must Do Now"  (11) (You must be logged in to answer)

o.k so I forgot to tell you where the blog is. lol, sorry, http://brokennuptials.blogspot.com

God Bless,


by AndyK   23 Posts
Posted on 3/2/2010 4:52 PM

I don't know about taking the money out of the account either. Although, I do agree about the cancelation of the credit cards. If you have joint credit cards, the last thing you want is your spouse to take advantage of you by going on a shopping spree and feeling some sort of self entitlement because you are filing for divorce. I currently filed for divorce against my wife 6 months ago and it's still not settled. I am writing a blog on my divorce and I update it regularly. I talk about things to look out for and things to consider.
by AndyK   23 Posts
Posted on 3/2/2010 4:51 PM

Don't take any money.  Get you spouse to go with you to a competent attorney mediator who can work with you together.  No secrets-no plots against the other-open and good faith negotiations is all it takes to reach an resolution that you both feel OK about.  See new book Divorce Mediation from the Inside Out A Mindful approach to Divorce
at www.nhlawyer.net.
by Ora Schwartzberg   
Posted on 8/18/2009 7:11 PM

This "author" always writes sexist pieces. Just pass it by ...............
by kimconn22000   139 Posts
Posted on 11/24/2008 5:11 PM

That is so disheartening.  Is it way too much of a generalization to say that women get so downright terrirorial over joint assets?  Is it a caveman instinct thing or am I just in that situation myself?  I want for us to make sure we each get what we need.  If a 50/50 division achieves that, great.  If she needs 60%, then that's fine given she is my daughter's mommy.

Tactics like the ones described above only inspire wrath from the other spouse if there isn't good communication about it beforehand.
by Icecat   18 Posts
Posted on 10/30/2008 5:22 PM

I don't know if this is the right post or not but I have a question?  My husband and I have been married for 22 years.  20 years of which has been sexless.  We had begun to work on out sexless marriage and things were going great.  So great that I wrote a book about it. www.sexlessmarriageabn.com  Now things are slowly strating to go back to the old ways.  I have an issue with trusting men.  My husband is a hanyman and everytime I look around he has the keys to some woman's apartment because he has to go in her place and (fix things) so he say.  Anyway, I have learn to deal with that a little bit because I know that that is his part-time job as a (handyman).  Now I am finding that he and another woman at work is fixing each other plates.  I told my husband if she fix you a plate I am your wife I should get one too!  And, when you fix her a plate her husband should get one too!  He is ignoring me about this and it is starting tobother me because I feel that they are starting some typeof bond with one another.  Please be honest and tell me what you think?
by bootsey   1 Post
Posted on 9/3/2008 11:03 AM

There is no $ in the only joint acct we have. He has MANY accts that are in his name and his dad as POD. He only puts a few dollars in the joint acct. He also removed me as beneficiary on his life ins policies. Everything is in his name only. The deed to our house is in both our names but he had the loan put in his name only when he refinanced. I seriously have NOTHING. Not sure what I can do
by cherokeechick   3 Posts
Posted on 9/1/2008 9:20 PM

So how do I feel comfortable with taking half the money, when if I do, the bills won't get paid and he will be irrate once he sees online that I withdrew.  At that point he would dhut me out completely from the account and I am on my own.  Right now, I am inbetween jobs, have my own bills that are due and can't pay them, he won't agree to give me any money to leave and do this civilly, so I can't afford renting somewhere else... I am stuck.  Any suggestions?
by canyonpoppy   1 Post
Posted on 8/4/2008 2:05 PM

of course you can try to communicate first!

by lifes2good   18 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 12:02 AM

Your first piece of advice is so counterintuitive.  Why wouldn't you try to resolve the problem/relationship and not immediately be abrasive and combative?  You shouldn't steal 1/2 of your money.  You should talk to them.  Communication is better than sneaking behind your ex's back to get what you want, especially if you want to try to move on healthily.
by vickydear   13 Posts
Posted on 7/8/2008 12:21 PM

As they say, the best defense is a good offense.
by freeangel   286 Posts
Posted on 5/5/2008 7:13 PM

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