It’s also important, in terms of your job security, to utilize your time on the job to focus on your career and not allow the upheaval in your personal life to negatively impact your job. Consider yourself lucky if you have coworkers and/or superiors willing to provide emotional support, don’t overly rely on it. Emotional support after a divorce is available from professional therapists, and hopefully from close personal friends and family. As you try to rebuild your social circle, try to incorporate work-related acquaintances, but there are distinct boundaries, which will vary based on where you work and your job title.
Despite the common sense reasons
why office romances don’t make sense, a recent study by
Vault.com found that 59 percent of workers across the U.S. admit to having had a workplace romance at some point in their career, with another 17 percent willing to do so if given the opportunity.
No matter how desperate you feel,
pursuing romance at work is almost always a mistake, especially if you’re hoping to remain working for the same employer over the long-term. Affairs often end badly and can damage your professional reputation, not to mention put your job in jeopardy. Even if dating coworkers, subordinates or superiors is not against company policy,
when the relationship ends, your ability to work side-by-side with that person will be difficult and bring potential conflict to the workplace.
Matt Horan, the owner of
Great Circle Coaching, helps clients in the United Kingdom and the United States examine their professional lives and make career transitions for greater life satisfaction. He said people who complicate their careers with an office affair may be saying less about their emotional lives and more about their job satisfaction.
"When you don't feel passionate about your career, there may be a willingness to sabotage it with an office romance," Horan said. "When you get caught up in the romance, you may find yourself thinking: 'Who cares if it ends badly and I lose my job? I'll just find another one.' If so, my advice is to find a job you love and to do so on your own terms. It's better than taking the chance of being escorted out of your current job by the security staff. However, if you really love your career, consider that when making a choice about whether to get romantically involved with a coworker. The key here is to be aware of what is important to you and to make your choices from that place of awareness."
Plus, the potential of having to deal with sexual harassment allegations and the related legal ramifications is a huge problem that could destroy your career. According to a study conducted by
SHRM/CareerJournal.com, 70 percent of HR professionals said their company had no official verbal or written policy on workplace romance. Of the policies that did exist, only 20 percent permitted workplace relationships, while 31 percent did not. Another 48 percent of employers permitted but discouraged on-the-job romance.
Most people are not paid for socializing as part of the job. However, your ability to get along with co-workers is essential to your professional success. Getting along with the people you work with will greatly reduce “on-the-job politics,” and having to worry about people stabbing you in the back so they can move themselves ahead within the company at your expense. Sure, there will always be difficult people you’re forced to work with whom you don’t like, or whom you’d never consider socializing with outside of work. However, developing the skills necessary to build and maintain professional relationships will benefit your career and reduce your work-related stress.
10 Tips For Developing Professional Work Relationships The following 10 tips will help you develop professional relationships without crossing boundaries:
1. Make an effort to demonstrate an interest in everyone by being approachable, friendly and outgoing. Avoid becoming part of a small clique.
2. Develop your listening skills so you’ll better understand the point-of-view. Instead of only talking about yourself, ask lots of open-ended questions and get to know the people you’re working with.
