Holly Bernier is a divorced mother of two who split up several years ago and moved with her children from Lincoln, R.I. to Port Charlotte, Fla. after she and her former husband decided to go their separate ways. “I already knew about Port Charlotte because my parents and my sister lived here,” she said. “I knew the weather was great and things down here were a lot cheaper.”
Dr. Mary Gresham, an Atlanta psychologist who specializes in divorce recovery and women’s issues, doesn't think moving after a divorce is a good idea. “We recommend that the person wait a year before making another big life change like moving." But she added, she knows why people do it. "Sometimes they hope by moving out of an area with their children then magically their life will change. Oftentimes that doesn’t work..."
According a recent poll from GFK Roper Custom Research, it's common for people to take some sort of self-improvement journey after divorce. The poll, commissioned by Divorce360.com, suggested that weight loss, was the most common change. But in addition, changing jobs, going back to school or moving was common -- for women in particular. Still, Bernier admitted it took a while to get use to her new environment. However, she and her children have adapted well.
“I’m going to community college full time, working full time and being a mom full time. This past semester I was on the ‘Dean’s List’ at school,” she proudly explained. “I’m in my sophomore year and hope to graduate next summer with a degree in ‘Early Childhood Education.’ I want to open my own preschool after graduation.”
But it's tougher for some people to move to another community after a divorce, particularly if they don't know the area or anyone where they're moving to. If they can't rely on family and friends for information, they often rely on people like Paul Da Costa, a mortgage broker in North Port, Fla. He said people often quiz him on details about the area. “People ask me how good the local schools are and how bad is the crime rate? I tell them they can find all that kind stuff on the web."
If you are going through a divorce and you’re looking for information about a good relocation spot, the Internet can offer the kind of information that makes your choice easier. Here are several sites that can help:
1. City-data.com
This Web site will answer many questions your new community. It can provide pictures of the community, maps, average household income of residents, population of the city and its breakdowns, employment possibilities, the typical weather forecast, locations of area hospitals, the cost of a typical house and much more. It also provides the number of schools, their names and addresses,
2. Realtor.com
If you're seaching for a home in a particular area, this Web site may be the answer. It’s a free site that will give you real time answers about what’s for sale in thousands of communities around the country. All you do is select a community, type the name into the computer in the appropriate slot and include some specific info on the type of house, size and price range. It provides a bunch of homes currently on the market within your criteria. Information on homes include everything from the year built, the square footage, any amenities and the cost. It includes information about the monthly cost of the home based on putting 10 percent down with a fixed-rate, 30-year mortgage.
3. Rentals.com
Type in the town you’d like to move to and you'll get a list of rental homes. The site will show you pictures, give you an address, explain the amenities and the cost per month. Also provided is a contact person and phone number. To find out all the preliminary information you need to know about where you might like to relocate by visiting three web sites that isn’t bad.
4. Moving Hints.com
This Web site tells you all kinds of things about moving. It not only gives you money-saving tips, it provides information on moving out of state or out of country. If you need to find a moving company to help you make the move, it will recommend several companies, explain how to save money by packing your household things and give you some ideas about temporary storage.
5. State school information
Many states provide information about each school from students grades in English and math to notations about teacher qualifications. But you're going to have to look for them. Try searching under the state's department of education. These sites include a variety of information on each state's school system. In New York, the site is located at https://www.nystart.gov/publicweb/2. California has an education site similar at http://data.greatschools.net/california/index.html, which includes information on class size, percentage of first-year teachers and tests scores.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Click here to read a journal about moving out.
Click here to read a story about making the move smoother in a divorce.
Click here to read five tips to help with moving after a divorce.
Don Moore is a veteran newspaper editor and reporter who spent more than 40 years working at newspapers around Florida. He recently retired from the Port Charlotte, Fla., Sun-Herald. He can be reached at donmoore39@gmail.com
