PARTY FAVORS Why are weddings such great pick up venues? One reason is the guy you meet can be ‘vouched for’ by the bride or groom as either a good guy or a complete cheese ball. Meeting at a wedding is immediately more intimate than picking up a stranger in a bar or on the Internet. You automatically have a connection and can find out scoop about them prior to you ever exchanging numbers and even before bellying up to the chocolate fountain at the dessert bar. Sarah Friedman, a wedding and event planner (as well as self professed matchmaking maven) of New Jersey shares these tips on how to ‘make it happen’ at a wedding.
1. “The line for food or drinks at the reception is where I find to be the best place to mingle. It’s there you have a kind of ‘captive audience’ and can strike up a conversation about the bride or groom and your connection to them.
2. Try to find out any information about what single guys will be there weeks before the big day when the bride and groom aren’t so preoccupied. People love to get involved in others love lives so don’t be shy! Let them know you’d be open to meeting someone. Find out from the bride or groom what single guys they think would be a good match for you.
3. If the party is a sit down dinner, ask them if it’ wouldn’t be too much trouble to be placed at the same table as the single men at the reception. You have to do this before they set their seating chart so the sooner, the better!
4. If it’s a buffet you can keep an eye out ahead of time for where to sit and just happen to be by that table where the cute guys are digging into their platters. You can also offer to make a bar run for more champagne as that’s usually very festive and welcome.” Friedman also says to ask the bride or groom for, “a word or two slipped to the potential match. This will set his wheels in motion so he will be thinking about the possibility before the party even starts.
5. If you’re in the wedding party, this is even better because you have several chances to get to know the rest of the (wedding) party and if one just happens to be single and handsome, well then, the rest is up to fate.” That is, fate and a hefty Bed Bath and Beyond bribe of an extra serving spoon off the registry.
CHICKEN, FISH, OR ONE NIGHT STAND? Before you go all bouquet catching crazy and think this is where you’ll meet your next husband, maybe you just want a ‘wedding fling’? Therapist Phyllis Morton of New York says that weddings are breeding grounds for not only potential long-term romance, but for casual sexual encounters as well. “Most people when attending weddings are more open and optimistic then they find themselves in their daily lives. This accompanied with the celebratory atmosphere and (in most cases) alcohol can be a recipe that lowers inhibitions and occasionally, impairs judgment. Sometimes when we are witnessing a union of two happy people we ‘want to be a part of that good feeling so we go for a ‘quick fix’ instead of investing time and energy into a courtship situation.”
It’s easy to get swept up in ‘wedding fever’ especially if we’re looking for a companion, even if it’s just to fill a void for the weekend. Meg Stupsker of Rye, New York, shares her experience of her cousin’s wedding, “The wedding was in Maryland and I had to get a hotel room for the weekend. I had just finalized my divorce and was feeling really vulnerable and a little lonely. My cousin had this friend whom I’ve never met and we started dancing and talking and before I knew it I slipped him my room key after dinner. It was fun at the time, but looking back I hope I never see him again. This is going to be sticky as my other cousin’s wedding is coming up from the same side of the family, and I’m sure he’ll be there. I wish it’d never happened.”
TAKING THE CAKE Finally there are those rare occasions where it works out. Weddings are a place where romance overflows and we get that twinkle in our eye. If you don’t believe it, ask Dr. Josh Berman of Manhattan. “I met my wife at our mutual friend’s wedding. I made some lame joke during the cocktail hour, and no one laughed except her. I knew I wanted to talk to her more so I asked a friend to switch tables with me for the dinner. After a few glasses of champagne and even more bad jokes, we found out we both worked at the same hospital. It was a no-pressure, fun way to meet someone new. We were already there to have a great time. So the pressure was off. After my first marriage ended in divorce three years ago, I thought that was it for me and I’d be married to the hospital for the rest of my life. Never say never, I suppose.”
Shari Albert is an accomplished actress who’s appeared in films including “The Brother’s McMullen” and “The Groomsmen” as well as on TV and stage. She is also a freelance writer for the LA Weekly and The Huffington Post. She can be reached at shari@sharialbert.com.
