Divorce Got You Sick and Tired?

    After a divorce, a two-letter word you’ve likely neglected is “me”. While you still need to care for your children (if you have them), you also need to take care of yourself.  One of the first steps to independence is determining you are physically healthy to carry on a solo lifestyle. This means seeing a health professional.

Dawn Cardi, a New York City-based family lawyer who works with men getting divorced, says she advises men get a physicalafter a divorce – and to keep the focus on a healthy lifestyle. “It’s a combination of mental and physical health,” she notes. "Guys coming out of divorce should seek out counseling for a period of to time to discover and heal, and they should spend more time with children who are also healing.”  

“Keeping it healthy and positive is crucial,” she adds. “Letting go of the anger is key to healthy living. Self knowledge is key to not becoming a repeat customer.”  

Even if you haven’t been to a physician in ages, it is never too late to set up routine appointments. Before your appointment, make a list of all problems — even if they don’t seem health-related. Money worries and relationship difficulties can affect your health, and it’s important to tell your doctor, no matter how embarrassed you are. Your doctor’s job is to prescribe treatment — not judge you.

Make sure to be honest with your doctor. Says Cathy Meyers, a divorce mediator who went through her own marital split a few years ago, “We don’t have a great deal of information on the effects of men’s health after a divorce. What evidence we do have reveals that men find divorce more emotionally problematic than women. Men also appear much less emotionally prepared for separation. In large part this may be due to the fact that most break-ups are started by women. During the emotional upheaval that often follows, men are fairly poor at expressing a range of emotions, which may appear to reveal them as angry and/or indifferent.”  

Divorced men, recently burned by marital discord, also may find it difficult to discuss sexual problems; bowel and bladder troubles; and drug and alcohol issues, but concealing this information can put your health in jeopardy. Make a concerted effort to schedule regular screenings for cholesterol (at least every five years, starting at age 35), blood pressure (at least every two years), colorectal cancer (starting at age 50), diabetes (if you have high blood pressure or cholesterol), depression, STDs and prostate cancer.  

Follow these strategies for better health:  

1. Take action.
Don’t stress over that lump or mole. Get it checked out. Seeing an expert has much better results than wondering.  

2. Don’t lie.
Even if you don’t like the fact that you smoke or drink, it is important for your doctor to know. You won’t be able to receive the best treatment otherwise.

3. Seek treatment at the first sign of an illness.
The earlier you connect with your doctor, the sooner your doctor can determine treatment.