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These days the trend in fashion is a big bag anyway.

MY VIEW: Spending the Night after Divorce


MY VIEW: Spending the Night after Divorce


Dating after Divorce: Be Prepared -- Just in Case -- without Being Presumptuous


By SHARI ALBERT

    My old roommate Christine’s four-year marriage came to an end almost a year and half ago. She’s hasn’t been actively looking to date again unless someone ‘swept her off her feet’. While shopping at the Farmer’s Market one Sunday Christine leaned in for a ripe rutabaga just as a tall, strapping architect named Justin slipped on a kiwi and literally knocked Christine off her feet. Two hot apple ciders and a shared soft pretzel later she gave him her number.

They dated for about a month and then, the inevitable happened. My phone rang. Christine said she had a late night dinner planned with Justin and then she suspected she was going stay the night. ‘Suspected’ may be the wrong word because he’s been hinting at this since their third date. Her resolve was weakening, and she really liked this guy and apparently he was ‘a fantastic kisser’. Plus it had been about two years since she’s done “IT ” with a capital “I-T". Oh yeah, it’s time.  


“Shari, I know I want tonight to be the night, but how do I come prepared without seeming presumptuous?."

I told her we have to make it seem like she hasn’t been obsessing about this for the past month. If she shows up with a suitcase he might freak out and think she’s moving in. This is how the “Just-in-Case” was born. Here’s what it is: A fabulous tote filled with essentials that keep you looking as fresh the next morning as you were the night before. You can keep it in your car so you don’t have to schlep a bag with you to dinner, or it can double as your pocketbook.    

Isaac Mizrahi for Target makes great totes in Pink or Gingham. They’re retro looking, cute and won’t break the bank. Check out the “totes” section in Target’s Web site.  

“These days the trend in fashion is a big bag anyway,” says Linda Immediato editor of "Modern Luxury Magazine." “In fact the bigger, the better! There are so many styles out there with a great range of prices. A fantastic way to check out the latest trends and try them on for size before buying is to go online to bagborrowandsteal.com. You can ‘rent’ a designer bag for weeks or months at a time. It’s one way to experiment with the size of bag that feels right for you before dropping a paycheck on a top designer.”  

Being women we’re good at multi-tasking. It’s possible to be in fashion and prepared for your “impulsive” encounter. But what exactly do you put in your “Just-in-case” if you’re new (again) to the overnight dating scene? Let’s start with the essentials.  

A WOMAN’S BEST FRIEND
Some say its diamonds, I say its condoms. That’s right, ladies we can’t leave this one up to the boys, and especially if you have specific needs in this area. It’s always so awkward at that moment of truth to ask. Trust me, it can kill the mood. Bring your own birth control like the confidant woman you are. If you’re shy, you can always turn to the Internet. Undercovercondoms.com has an amazing array of size, types, textures and oh yes, flavors to choose from. Plus there’s customer reviews and free shipping for orders over $29!

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