Newly divorced and ready to try again? Want to try an online dating site, but not certain what to do or how? Here are four tips to help you make the most of your dating experience as you look for a new partner.
1. Figure out what kind of experience you want. Do you want someone else to make the matches for you? Then sites such as
eHarmony, Chemistry.com, and Match Platinum might be best bets because they do all the sorting and send you matches based on the various compatibility tests they offer. On the other hand, if you’re the take-charge type and want to scope out the possibilities yourself,
Match.com,
TRUE.com and Yahoo! Personals let you surf through their vast databases using various sort capabilities. Want the best of both worlds? Then, think about PerfectMatch where they’ll match you based on the results of your Duet® survey, PLUS, you get to surf yourself. If you prefer not to blow your own horn, you might want to take advantage of the newest online dating trend and get family and friends involved in helping you find the love of your life. Check out Cupid’s Lab,
Engage.com or Match Making Friends. On these sites, not only do you get to check out the possibilities, your loved ones get to surf and make matches for you. Imagine having your best friend send a hottie an email that says, “You’ve got to meet my friend. He’s brilliant, gorgeous, and tons of fun.” Finally, what kind of bells and whistles do you need? Sites serve up a smorgasbord of high tech accoutrements such as live chats, instant messaging, video chats, cell phone message alerts, online videos, dating coaches, ezines and so forth. Depending on your age, this is either cool or cumbersome.
2. Do your homework. Once you’ve narrowed your options down to several possible services, find out about their cancellations policies. If you sign up for six months of service and find the love of your life after three months can you get a refund on the unused time? If you’re really happy, it may be worth it to lose that money; but, you should know that’s the deal up front. Also, ask if there’s any kind of guarantee. Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, authors of the best-selling Freakonomics, found that 57 percent of the men and 23 percent of the women who were paid members of the top three sites never received a single contact. Can you get your money back if you don’t get any contacts? Googling “complaints about (name of site)” and/or “Praise for (name of site)” will give you lots of information about how happy customers are with various dating services. Ditto for checking with the Better Business Bureau.
3. Write a great profile. Throw a profile party and invite your friends to help you develop a profile that’s fun and friendly. While you’re writing it, park your baggage at the curb. This isn’t the place to mention that you were married to Godzilla, who continues to make your life hell. Also, avoid bragging about the beach house and the Lexus, unless you want someone who’s more into dough-ray-mi than they are into YOU. You attract what you put out there. So, talk about what makes you excited to get up in the morning and mention your hopes and dreams. “When you’re writing your profile, don’t hide your value system,” said Dr. Gilda Carle. “Not being really honest about who you are means you won’t be attracting the person you’re really looking for. Also, make sure you put in the deal breakers.” If you won’t consider a smoker, put that in upfront.
