The ad in 'Washingtonian Magazine' read: "Looking for a man who lives by his word(s), who laughs at himself easily, who is able to say what's hard to say, and who believes that life is what you make it. All other virtues/vices negotiable. Lifestyle vision: we take our laptops on a mountain retreat but return if a friend's in need. Also, we blend work, play, and contribution in such measures that they are indistinguishable. Free-lancer (like me) preferred but extraordinary 9-5ers considered."
Andy Murphy didn’t see the ad, but two friends did and both of them knew that Andy was looking for that special someone. One of them wrote to Teresa Flynn, the ad’s author, on Andy’s behalf. The other read the entire ad into Andy’s phone answering machine saying, "She's looking for you. Don't pass on this." He didn’t and today, almost 20 years later, Andy and Teri Murphy joyfully blend work, play and contribution while writing together on mountain and seaside retreats and helping friends in need.
How about you? When family and friends say, “I know someone who would be just perfect for you” does it bring a smile or a shiver?
Those reluctant to turn to their inner circle for matchmaking might want to rethink. The Pew Internet and American Life Survey found that 34 percent of married couples met their spouse through family and friends. As Teri and Andy Murphy’s story shows, letting those who know you best know you are looking for that right relationship can be a great way to find long-term happiness.
Bob Burg, best-selling author of "Endless Referrals," agrees. Burg teaches companies and individuals how to apply and perfect business networking and positive persuasion skills to improve their personal and professional success. “All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust,“ Burg said. “People who feel good about us want to see us succeed, which means they will go out of their way to help us succeed through referrals.”
After he was voted one of Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Most Eligible Bachelors, Burg began showing people how they could use the 250 people in their everyday network for matchmaking. “The goal in networking is to meet not only potential mates, but also to meet people who will know of potential mates and will want to introduce you,” said Burg.
Burg suggests you sit down with friends over coffee and let them know that you're "in the market." “Make sure you provide some parameters, so they know exactly who your desired ‘prospects’ are,” Burg said. “I guarantee that since they ‘know you, like you and trust you,’ they'll be only too happy to connect you with people they know. Keep in mind that marketing is a numbers game. With the networking system, you exponentially increase your odds of meeting that special one.” A hybrid of offline social networking and online dating is the high tech dating wave of the future.
Online dating services are taking notice of the power of family and friends and finding ways to incorporate social networking with online dating. “There’s this belief that online dating services have some kind of great science in the area compatibility,” said Trish McDermott, former vice president of global communications for
Match.com. “But, if you ask single people ‘What do you think is the best way to meet the love of your life?’ almost all of them will say not some incredible piece of science, but the way we’ve done it for hundreds of years — the intervention or meddling of friends and family.”
