The divorce has been granted by a court, but there are still some ongoing issues surrounding children or support. Even though the paperwork has been signed, it’s rare for the relationship between you and your ex-spouse to be completely over. In many cases, there are ongoing issues that can include the sale of a home, debt that still needs to be paid, alimony payments or support or visitation or holiday and summer schedules if you have children. Here are some steps to consider as you try to maintain a good working relationship.
1. KEEP YOUR PAPERWORK.
File away all of your divorce paperwork, but keep it in a place where you can get to it if you need it. In particular, make certain the divorce decree, with all its details, your name change documents are handy.
If you feel the courts should reassess something in your decree, you'll easily know where to find what you need.
2. KEEP AN INCIDENT REPORT FILE. Keep track of all legal requirements with your ex-spouse on
an incident report for at least three months. If all is well, you can stop and just keep notes when something happens. For example, if your
ex has a drug or alcohol problem, you can use the incident report to record information. Or if there's an issue with visitation or
child support, you can record that as well. If you need to file something in court, this will give you the foundation for your case, particularly if the incident involves abuse of some sort.
3. MAINTAIN COMMUNICATION.
Assuming you have children, establish a level of
communication with your ex that keeps him or her informed about parenting issues. A regular e-mail or a phone call at the same time each week are two ways to establish this routine. You can even use notes, but do not send them through the children.
4. LEARN TO LIVE AS A SINGLE.Consider
new ways to live without your former partner. Create holiday traditions on your own, new household rules or establish new routines as a way to establish yourself in your new life. Draft an action plan for yourself: What do you want to do this first year -- buy a house, get a degree? Write it down and start moving toward those goals.
