Once you’ve made the difficult decision to divorce, your next choice is who will handle the case.

All divorces must be finalized by a court. However, there are various ways to maneuver through the legal process. You can hire a lawyer, hire a “referee,” negotiate the breakup, even do it yourself.

Which divorce route you take will determine how much time you spend in the courtroom and how much you will spend.

HIRING A LAWYER

Traditional divorce litigation involves each party hiring an attorney. This is the typical approach when the parties disagree about child custody and/or support, spousal maintenance or property division.

In contentious cases, the parties find it worthwhile to have an advocate who argues for his or her client’s interests. Every decision is carefully presented by the attorney for the judge's consideration.

Even in situations where the parties agree on most issues, legal expertise could be a good idea. This is the case, for example, where the divorcing couple’s assets are large or involve complicated financial arrangements.

A traditional divorce utilizing counsel typically is the most costly option. Depending upon the issues to be decided, it also can take the most time for the divorce to be finalized.

USING A MEDIATOR

With this alternative to traditional litigation, a neutral third party is hired by both parties to help dissolve their marriage. A mediator is generally engaged when the divorce is amicable and families with children often find it is a good solution to minimize tension and ease the youngsters' concerns.    

The mediator’s goal is to resolve the same issues that an attorney would handle, such as child custody, support and visitation, property and asset division, and spousal support. But rather than arguing a particular side, the mediator works to negotiate a mutual agreement.

Many mediators are also attorneys; others have counseling backgrounds. A mediator with legal training can help draft the actual divorce agreement. Ones with counseling experience are helpful in resolving emotional issues such as child custody, but cannot draft legal documents.

Both parties share the mediation fees, usually equally. And since the parties have fewer issues to resolve, the process usually isn't as time consuming. However, it is not without structure and most mediators require several formal sessions over several weeks or months to ensure that both parties are satisfied with the arrangements. These include private meetings with each party, as well as joint negotiations with both together.

For mediation to succeed, all parties must agree to the process. And even if a mediator is used, each party also can hire an attorney if additional advice is desired on particular settlement terms.